Wednesday, May 28, 2008

the beginning of the end

sitting in a little internet cafe
on a dark, cold, windy otoño morning in buenos aires
listening to bob dylan
on my last day in this continent
this adventure
this crazy part of my life

how does it feel?

it feels like a million lifetimes.
it feels like i gave up a lot.
it feels like i gained the world.
it feels like my eyes have taken in more than they ever could have known.
it feels like my feet have gone further than they ever expected to go.
it feels like my eyes have cried themselves out.
it feels like a stitch in my side from all the laughter.
it feels like a drop in my stomach and a short intake of breath; as i crossed the andes mountains, as i rode a horse through the patagonian dessert, as i saw the sunset over rio de la plata, as i drank the most delicious wine in mendoza, as i saw the steep hills of la paz lit up at night, as i flew over the amazon in a small airplane, as i swam with river dolphins in the jungle, as i smelled the earth and sky and water.
it feels like that moment when your lips first touch anothers.
it feels like that moment when you say goodbye forever.
it feels like this is the beginning of the end.
or the beginning of another beginning.

bob dylan said it best.

tonight, i get on a plane at 10:30pm. i will fly, fly, fly back to the real (?) world, out of this crazy dream.

2 comments:

applestare said...

i missed you so much today. more than i have the whole time you have been gone. i felt like i coulnt even remember what you look like or what your voice sounds like. and then, after having this split second thought, i realized how much of you is apart of who i am. i dont know if that makes sense. but you have been done from my everyday for so long, but that means nothing when i realized today how much of who i am, what i think is funny, what i dream of doing in my future, what i love, what music i like, what adventures i have and want to have, what clothes i like to wear and more....all have a lot to do with you. i love you. so so much.

celessa said...

ahhhhh i love you too!!!!!!! i tried to pretend that amanda was you when i was in south america. but i need my steph wallen. i am so excited for us to be reunited, i dont even know what activity we should do first to celebrate. maybe cal anderson park? maybe car dancing to a song? OOOOOO we should go to ballet restaurant sometime soon... ohh i keep thinking of the last day we hung out and got pedicures and ate pho. so so great. i cant wait for the reunion.

ps. i still have a little bit of red paint on my toes. yep, from the pedicure. :)